Monday, December 29, 2008

How stupid of me

It has been such a long time since I thought about it.

I never thought I would experience it again.

I know it is pretty stupid to think about it, but it surprised me nonetheless.

It did not even cross my mind when I went to bed, so I still wonder how it came to mind.

They say it is cause by your subconscious mind. So, does that mean that I've been thinking about it unconsciously?

You might think it is pretty stupid to think about it when it is not happening anytime soon. Even Danny and my mum was laughing at my stupidity when I told them about it.

Yet, I still wonder at times. What will I do when it happens? It felt so real that I am seriously scared I won't be strong enough to face it.

I always am the superstitious type. And when this comes along, I have to wonder if it is a sign. Even as I am typing this now, I wonder would I be jinxing myself by talking about it.

I seriously hope I don't but I can't help but feel sensitive about this issue because.. seriously have been such a long time since I've woke up crying because of this nightmare.

This time, there is no mummy there to hold my hands till I fall asleep again, there is no Danny there to tell me I am just being stupid.

I was alone and that fact alone made it worse.

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